The Ties That Bind
by stardust2002
Summary: They were finally on the same ship and free to be together, so why was Lee still holding back? A Lee and Dee story, but don't forget about Kara! Spoilers for season two mainly. Especially LDYB parts 1 and 2. NOW COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**The Ties That Bind**

**oooooooooooooooo**

"You know, this would be so much easier if we were on the same ship," Dee murmured, breath tickling Lee's chest. He was still breathing heavily and there was a sheen of sweat on his skin in the aftermath of their lovemaking.

"True, true." He ran his fingers softly down her back, tracing the ridges of her spine and smiling as she shivered with pleasure. "You're a woman of wisdom, you know that?"

She lifted her head and smiled at him flirtatiously. "You didn't know that already? You really are a little slow on the uptake Commander."

"Insulting your superior officers? Really Dee, I never expected that from you. Starbuck, yes, but you ..."

She stiffened at the mention of Kara's name, as she always did. _No need to worry about her anymore, _she thought. _She's gone - history - married and living on that miserable rock now. Lee is all mine - finally._

"Only when I know they're not going to call me on it," she smiled, but it lacked warmth now. She got up off him and began to dress.

Lee followed her lead, somewhat unwillingly, but after pulling on his underwear, he sat back down on the edge of the bunk.

"Come on - our time's almost up," she said, throwing his uniform perfectly into his lap.

"I know," he sighed, standing up to finish dressing.

As Dee grabbed the door she turned back towards him. "I was serious you know. This _would _be easier if we were on the same ship."

"Yes, but we're not," Lee objected.

"You're a Commander remember? You could do something about that," she hinted. "I'll see you next time okay?" Then she left and pulled the door shut behind her.

Lee sat back down with a sigh. She _was _right, but he felt uncomfortable asking his father to transfer her to Pegasus. True, many personnel changes were occurring now that people were settling on the planet, but so many of his father's trusted officers were leaving that he felt bad for trying to take one more away. And how exactly would he explain wanting _her_ particularly? Lee knew there were rumours about the two of them floating around the ship - didn't know if his father had heard them yet - but he was enough of a professional officer to know that transferring someone for personal reasons was out of the question.

So what was he to do?

He wished he had someone to talk it over with, but the only person he ever talked to about personal things was Dee herself. _Once upon a time I would have confided in Kara, _he thought. But Kara was gone - moved to the planet with _him _- the man she claimed to be in love with. _Deserter, _he thought angrily. _I can't believe she left us for _him! _Okay, so he's an attractive guy, probably good in bed, but she was a part of _us, _a part of our crew, our _family_ - how could she just turn her back on us like that? _But he had to push back the anger he felt every time he thought of her, every time he looked into his father's eyes and saw the pain there. Kara's betrayal had hurt him far more than it had hurt Lee, which was damn near impossible given how hurt Lee had been. _Still am, _he had to admit to himself. Even though she'd been gone a couple of months, the pain of her apparent lack of caring for him and his father still rankled.

As he strode into CIC several minutes later, his father walked over to meet him.

"Can I have a word Lee?" he asked quietly, inclining his head slightly towards the door.

"Of course," Lee answered promptly.

They walked out together and were comfortably silent for a few minutes as they strode through Galactica's quiet corridors.

"I have another crew member I'd like to transfer to Pegasus," Adama began.

"Okay, who is it?"

"Petty Officer Dualla."

"What?" Lee stopped dead, but his heart kept going - pounding faster and faster. Had _she _said something? Had _she _asked for the transfer?

Apparently not, he guessed, as his father continued. "It's proving to be tough juggling crew members now, and I was planning to send Helo to be your CAG, but he's requested to stay here."

Lee nodded - he knew the situation only too well.

"i don't need him as CAG here, but he has too much experience to settle for anything less. So I've decided to promote him to XO and Chief Communications Officer. Your XO is a pretty damn good pilot from what I've read in Starbuck's reports, so I'd like him to become Pegasus' CAG, and Dee can replace him. If you agree of course."

Lee had been watching his father narrowly and at the mention of Kara's name he saw the familiar shadow cast itself over his face. He felt another stab of pain at the thought of his father's suffering, but pushed it aside to concentrate on the matter at hand.

"Um, I don't know what to say," Lee offered, rather taken aback with his father's proposal.

"Do you think she can handle it?" Adama asked bluntly.

"I'm sure she can - she's a qualified officer. I trust your judgment." Lee conjured up a mental picture of her standing at the comm in full uniform, so as not to blush when he thought of her in more ... personal circumstances.

"Good. I'll give her some time to collect her things then, after I inform her of the transfer, and she'll be aboard your ship by 0800hrs tomorrow."

"Yes sir," Lee said, nodding, heart still pounding furiously.

Adama glanced at his watch. "Your shuttle is due to leave soon, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I was just stopping by to say goodbye before I left."

"Take care Lee." Adama pulled him into a sudden hug. "I'm proud of you son," he whispered, squeezing tightly.

For a moment Lee stood shocked, then he hugged back. "Thanks dad," he whispered, and they broke contact.

"Now get going. I wouldn't want you to miss your ride back."

"No sir," Lee smiled, saluting him and heading off towards the flight deck.

**ooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Lee paced his office, wondering if the butterflies in his stomach would ever cease tormenting him. Dualla was due to arrive on the next shuttle, and he was still conflicted about whether or not he really wanted her here. It wasn't that he didn't care about her, he really did, but he also felt it was highly inappropriate for a Commander to be involved in a personal relationship with his XO. He and Kara had already been too close during their time as CAG and deputy CAG, and it had caused some serious friction in their working relationship. And _they _hadn't even been sleeping together. _No, she was busy sleeping with everyone else _but _me, _he reminded himself, still feeling bitter about it. Of course, nearly everything that reminded him of Kara caused him anger or hurt. _Glad she's out of my life! At least I can be happy now without her frakking it up on me!_

But that didn't solve the problem of what to do with Dee. There was no doubt she was going to want to up the ante in their relationship once they were able to see each other daily again. She'd been hinting as much for weeks already.

He headed to the hangar bay to meet her ship, as any good Commander would do upon welcoming his new XO on board, still debating what to do.

"Permission to come aboard sir?" she asked, a trace of a cheeky smirk visible on her face.

"Permission granted." Lee smiled noncomittally.

"Perhaps we should head to your office and you can brief me as to my new duties sir," she offered with a smile.

Lee sighed - already she was taking over!

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

The Ties That Bind - chapter 2

**ooooooooooooooo**

Lee sighed in frustration. She just wasn't accepting his reasoning. It had been two months since the transfer and it seemed as though all they did was fight. Or make love. _Frak or fight huh? _he'd said to Kara the night they'd nearly given in to the passions that ran so deep between them, and it hadbeen true. He and Kara _were _either close to frakking or they were fighting. There didn't seem to be a middle ground for them. It was one of the things he'd appreciated most in his relationship with Dee - balance. They always seemed to be able to meet on common ground, and things had been easy and fun.

Well not now.

His prediction that Dee wanted things to progress further had been correct. Well, actually what she _really _wanted was for their relationship to become public. - something Lee was still squeamish about.

She spun around to face him again, a hurt look replacing the earlier anger. "I thought you wanted things to continue when I came here," she said.

"I did. I do. It's not that I don't want to be with you, it's just that ..."

"That you'd rather treat me like a slut you frak behind closed doors."

"Hey, that's not fair," Lee countered angrily. So far he'd been able to keep his temper - something he was very good at most of the time - but now she was really starting to irk him.

"Neither is what you're doing to me. Don't I deserve better than this?" she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Anastasia, we've been over this a dozen times already, and I've _told _you ..."

" ... the same thing every time. It doesn't get any better with the repetition you know."

"So why don't you get it yet? It's just not appropriate for a commander and XO to be having a personal relationship."

"But it's okay to frak her in private as long as there's nothing _personal_?" she asked sarcastically.

"That's not what I'm saying, and you know it!" Lee said hotly, voice rising several notches.

"Well, put it in words of one syllable for me then because I guess I'm just not smart enough to get it." Her eyes were fiery, and anger oozed from every pore in her body.

Lee threw up his hands in frustration. "Frak it!" He turned his back and walked away from her. "I'm not in the mood for this conversation." His tone was icy.

Dee turned the other way and stalked out of his quarters. "Yeah, and when are you?" she muttered to herself as she walked to her quarters, one deck down. She stripped down to her underwear and climbed into bed, setting her alarm to wake her in three hours for her shift. She'd used up two of the five hours she'd had to sleep to be with Lee, and now she wondered if it had been worth it. She cared for him but it seemed lately all they did was fight. _Why doesn't he want to be seen in public with me? Why can't everyone know about us? Is he that embarrassed? Is there something wrong with me? _Those questions and many more kept circling through her head, preventing her from sleeping. _He doesn't really care about me - I'm just an easy lay, _was the last thought that crossed her mind as she clutched her pillow to her chest and let the tears fall.

**oooooooooooooooooo**

Things were decidedly frosty between them for several days until Lee decided it was time to clear the air. It was becoming difficult to work, _as I predicted, _and Lee was getting very uncomfortable with the situation.

"Lieutenant," he called, seeing her in the hallway ahead of him.

"Yes Commander?" she answered, slowing down and allowing him to catch up.

"We need to talk."

"I suggest you schedule a meeting." She was cold, unrelenting.

"Dee," he said in a frustrated voice. "I'm sorry. I'd like to talk to you," he added quietly.

She sighed loudly. "Is it going to be any different this time?"

He stopped walking and took her hand. "I promise."

She smiled tentatively. "Alright then."

"Come on." Lee led her into the meeting room, empty as usual since the settling of the planet and the reduction of his crew down to near nothingness.

"I'm sorry Dee. I haven't been fair to you. You were right - I've been treating you badly." He lifted a hand and brushed the hair away from her face. She'd taken to wearing it down more often, and Lee thought it added to her beauty. Her soft green eyes stared up at him questioningly, waiting for more.

"I still think it's a bad idea for two people who work so closely together to be involved personally, but the fact is we already were before we were put in this situation. And maybe it's time the rules were bent a little."

She smiled at him.

"You know that's hard for me - I'm not the rule breaker," he smiled and Dee knew exactly who he was thinking of, " but I'm willing to give it a try." She practically leapt at him and threw her arms around his neck. "So long as we don't do _this _in public," he added, smiling.

"Aw?" Dee whined, teasing him.

"Hey, I think I'll be okay with people finding out we're together, but being demonstrative in public ... just isn't me."

"How 'bout in private?"

Lee put his arms around her waist and pulled her tight against him. "You need to ask?"

Several minutes later, they broke apart breathlessly, and Lee adjusted the trousers of his uniform. "I think we'd better take this someplace else," he said thickly.

"I thought you'd never ask."

**ooooooooooooooooooooo**

"Dee! Oh my gods ... dee ... oh yes!" Lee cried out as he spilled himself hotly into her. It was the best sex of their relationship thus far. It was as though a barrier they'd been stuck behind had been removed and they were free to take it that one step further.

"Lee, oh Lee, my gods ... I never knew ..." Dee exclaimed breathlessly, after her last orgasm finally slowed and she began to come back to reality.

"Never knew?" Lee repeated lazily, tracing circles on her sweaty, chocolate-brown back.

"Never knew ... it could be ... so good," she panted, still gasping for breath. She lifted her head off his chest and gazed adoringly into his deep blue eyes.

Lee smiled back at her, but inside his heart he felt a sudden stab of fear. _She's going to want me to marry her, _was the thought that made his blood run cold suddenly. Not that he didn't care for her ... but he just didn't know if she was the right woman for 'forever'. At least, not yet. He needed time to be certain, but he had a feeling (as he'd had before) that she wasn't going to be willing to wait. She seemed the type to just jump in and figure out how to tread water as she went along. _Not unlike another green-eyed beauty I know, _he thought suddenly. _Only _she _found someone else who was willing to jump in with her. _His brow crinkled as it always did when he thought of her. Why was it the thought of her being married to Anders still upset him so? It wasn't like he and Kara had a future together ...

"So, um ..." Dee began, pulling the sheets up around them. "If I'm not allowed to jump you in public, what exactly _are _we going to do to let people know about us?"

Lee gave her a 'don't go there' look.

"Hey, I'm just asking so I don't screw up." She ran a hand lightly down his chest, feeling the downy soft hairs tickle her fingers. "I don't want to fight with you anymore."

"Me neither," Lee whispered, holding her tighter. "I was thinking we could take things slow you know? Sit together more at meals, be seen doing things together during our off duty hours ..."

"Things?" she asked suggestively.

"Not _those _kinds of things," he said in mock sternness.

"Spoilsport," she whispered, laying her head back down on his chest.

"i don't want to just hit people over the head with it. It should be more of a gradual thing, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. Fine, we'll do it your way," she whispered, snuggling up and closing her eyes.

"Sleep well," Lee whispered, his eyes closing too. _Well, seems like I won round two, _he thought. _I hope this doesn't end up being a mistake ..._

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

The Ties That Bind - chapter 3

**ooooooooooooooooooo**

"Sir", the officers saluted as they passed Lee, but the weren't able to wipe the smirks off their faces in time. Couple that with the fact that they'd been talking animatedly till they'd turned the corner and nearly run into him, and the fact that he'd heard the name Adama come out of one of their mouths, and he knew exactly what they were talking about. Him and Dee.

They'd been less discreet in the weeks following their big fight and she'd reveled in the chance to show everyone that 'Lee Adama' belonged to her. Lee was still rather uncomfortable with the publicness of their relationship, but true to his word, he was trying not to let it bother him. He'd never really been a demonstrative or affectionate sort of person _except with Kara - it seemed we were always touching, _so was difficult for him. And to hear his crew talking about him in such unflattering terms ("Can you believe Adama's frakking the XO?" was what he'd heard) made him really uncomfortable.

Lee sighed. "_This _is why I didn't want anyone to know," he muttered to himself dejectedly. "I'm really not sure how much more of this I can take." But he knew he didn't really want to break it off with her. What they had was the only enjoyment left in his pathetically boring life. _Not to mention, she'd kill me - literally kill me!_ So what was he to do? He needed some time to think about it, because at this point, he could only see two options - break it off with her, or marry her so the rumours stopped.

**oooooooooooooooooo**

"Did you hear the latest? The XO, Dualla I think her name is? She's sleeping with the Commander."

"What? You can't be serious!"

"I am! I've seen them together ... holding hands, and Scout saw them both coming out of his quarters first thing yesterday morning."

Redhead's eyes went wide. "You aren't joking are you?" She sniffed. "How'd _she _get so lucky? The man is sex incarnate." Her voice was pure lust.

Star shrugged, toweling her hair. "They're both from Galactica. Maybe Adama Sr. allows that stuff. I know Cain would have drawn and quartered us if she'd ever found anyone breaking the regs. And as for Cain herself - frakking the XO? She'd rather have died."

"So would I! Can you imagine frakking Fiske?" She shuddered at the thought. "But Adama Jr. is someone I'd spread my legs for any day."

Both women giggled like thirteen year old girls sharing dirty secrets about the boys in their class.

"Good morning," Dee said, stepping out of a shower stall a few down from where the two women were drying off. Her voice was frosty and her green eyes gleamed with fire.

"Oh ... um ... good morning," Star said, reddening. Redhead elbowed her. "Sir," she added belatedly, saluting as she yanked at her falling towel with the other hand.

"Sir," Redhead said crisply saluting, her face nearly the colour of her hair that had earned her her callsign.

"Let me make this perfectly clear to both of you, and feel free to pass it on to anyone else who needs to know." Her eyes blazed.

"_Commander _Adama is not to be gossiped about like a common deckhand. It is disrespectful and rude. You will show him the proper respect whether you are in his presence or not. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes sir," they chorused, both paling at the dressing down from their superior.

"If I hear of this again, anyone who is caught will be severely dealt with."

"Yes sir," they said again, both wishing the deck would open up and swallow them whole.

"You are dismissed," Dee said curtly, and they both grabbed their clothing and hastily retreated.

"Oh, and ladies," she called after them, a 'cat that ate the cream' smile on her face. "Lee Adama is mine - no one lays a hand on him, or spreads their legs for him. Understood?" They both nodded quickly, ashen faces now blushing. "Good day ladies."

"Sir," they both murmured meekly as they pushed each out of the way in their haste to exit the head.

Dee snorted arrogantly. _That ought to show them, _she thought, and smiled to herself, thinking of what she and Lee had done the night before.

**ooooooooooooooooooo**

The more Lee thought about it, the more he realized he was caught between a rock and a hard place. Dump her ... marry her ... He didn't much care for either option, but his pride was taking a beating the way things were going now. And pride was something the Adamas ... well ... took pride in, so to speak.

He really wanted all this gossip, innuendo and staring to end, but he was just not convinced that he wanted to marry Dee. _Why? Why do I feel like I just don't want to make that commitment? I care for her, we've been together nearly half a year, why do I still feel like we're not that close? _Lee struggled to put words to his deepest feelings, but it was something he was very unused to doing. He'd always been taught to swallow his feelings and do the job, and some of those feelings had been buried so long it was tough to resurrect them. Every once in a while a stray feeling would slip out and surprise him, like the time Kara had returned from Caprica and he'd kissed her and then later told her he loved her. He'd closed himself off again in a hurry though, figuring she didn't feel the same way. _Why am I suddenly thinking of her? _he asked himself. _I'm trying to dredge up my deepest feelings and suddenly Kara comes to mind. _And he shook his head, trying to rid himself of her unwanted image. Time had passed, but his anger at her still simmered. He wasn't even quite sure _why _he was angry with her anymore - there were so many things - but somehow he just refused to let that anger go. Because if he did, he wasn't quite sure what would replace it.

**oooooooooooooooooooo**

Several more days had gone by, and Lee had very nearly come to a decision about Dee. He'd worked incredibly hard to keep his difficult thoughts to himself and not let her know how torn he was. He felt he'd been quite successful, as she had acted the same as usual and not confronted him like she usually did when she could tell something was wrong.

He was going to marry her. There was just no other way. He needed respect and discipline and both were suffering as a result of their relationship. At least this would make it legal and the talk would stop. People would know they loved each other and weren't just in it for the sex. _Except that you don't love her, _the small voice in his head kept telling him. _That doesn't matter, _he thought forcefully. _She's a nice woman, I like her, I enjoy being with her, and I owe it to her not to have the crew gossiping about her. Love ... is something hard to come by. It's come ... it's gone. Who knows if it will ever come again for me? I should just take this opportunity while it's here._

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door of his office.

"Come," he called, and stood up in shock as the doors opened to reveal Kara. There was a small smile playing around her lips and a pleading look in her hazel eyes.

"What ... what are you doing here?" he stammered.

"I was in the neighbourhood ..."

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

The Ties That Bind - chapter 4

**oooooooooooooo**

Lee stared, unable to take his eyes off her. She smiled, basking in the unspoken compliment.

"Cat got your tongue Adama?" she said, batting her eyelashes flirtatiously at him.

"You look ... good," he said finally, searching helplessly for words.

Kara laughed out loud as she crossed the room to stand directly in front of him. "What? did you expect me to look like hell?"

Lee blushed. "No, of course not. I just ... I heard it's pretty tough down there."

"It is. But we get by." She smiled.

Lee pointed at her outfit, a pretty flowered skirt that came down below her knees and a long, baggy sweater. "So what's with the skirt? Have you gone girly?"

Kara snorted. "There isn't anything else. You may have noticed we weren't allowed to take our uniforms with us when we left? Well, there's one clothing tent and we all just grab whatever fits. I only _have _one pair of pants. It sucks."

Lee laughed loudly. _That _was more like the Kara he'd always known. Somehow he found it hard to be angry with her when she was right there before him, despite the fact that he'd been annoyed at just the thought of her since she'd left.

She smiled brightly at him. "I was afraid you wouldn't want to see me."

"Whatever gave you _that _idea?" Lee's eyebrow rose.

Kara just gave him a knowing look without answering. "I think your father has forgiven me," she offered.

"Oh?"

"I went to see him. We needed some supplies from Galactica and I volunteered. I knew he might still be upset at my leaving, but I had to see him." She sighed. "I've missed the old guy," she added wistfully. "He was always a better parent to me than my own were. I feel almost like he _is _my own father."

"Well that would make us brother and sister then, wouldn't it?" Lee said, smiling.

"Maybe that's why we've always teased and fought with each other the way we have." Kara smiled too, but Lee could tell it was forced. She didn't believe that load of crap any more than he did. They flirted because they were incredibly attracted to one another, and they fought because neither of them was willing to give in to that attraction and it was easier to stay apart when they were mad at each other.

"So, do I get a hug or not?" she prompted.

Lee pulled her into his arms, marveling as always, at how well she fit there. Their bodies fused from end to end like they belonged together; always had. It had never been that way with Dee though. Holding her had always felt ... off somehow. Forced, unreal. He'd tried to tell himself that it would just take time, but it had already been four months and somehow the feeling just hadn't worn off. Maybe he was just going to have to live with it.

"So what brings you to _my _ship?" Lee whispered, still holding her close.

"I just wanted to see you," she admitted, sinking just a little more comfortably into his embrace. Lee's eyes slipped shut as he allowed himself, just for a moment, to enjoy holding her again.

At that moment, his office doors opened and Dee walked in. She stopped dead, a look of shock on her face. Lee broke away from Kara quickly and blushed slightly.

"I ... I ... see you're busy," Dee stammered, holding the sheaf of papers she had been going to give Lee close to her chest protectively.

"Just catching up," Kara said gaily. "It's been a while since we've seen each other."

"Yes. Yes it has," Dee murmured tonelessly. She knew Kara was on board and most likely visiting Lee. She hadn't expect to see them in each other's arms however.

"Are those for me?" Lee asked, hoping to break the uncomfortable atmosphere.

Dee tore her eyes away from Kara and looked over at him. "Yes they are." She stepped forward and handed them over.

"Thank you," he said, eyes smiling warmly at her.

She back away quickly though. "I've got to get back to work."

"Okay. I'll catch up with you later Lieutenant," he said.

"It was nice seeing you again," Kara called after her but Dee kept right on walking without responding.

Kara flopped down ungracefully on one of Lee's 'guest' chairs. _You can dress her up but you just can't make her behave like a lady, _Lee thought, smiling inwardly.

"So, I guess you two are still frak ... um, seeing each other," Kara said, stopping herself as she remembered Lee's embarrassment at her talking about them in such a crude way.

"Yes we are. And you and Samuel are still happy I presume?" he shot back, a trace of acidity in his voice.

She smiled widely, appearing not to notice it. "You bet. Things are going really well down there. We even have hot water sometimes."

"I'm happy for you," Lee said, smiling weakly. Hearing that she was happy was just not what he wanted. He didn't actually wish her ill, but he'd have been more comforted somehow to know that she had at least _some _regrets about the decisions she'd made that had affected not only hers, but others lives as well.

"Yes, but we were talking about you Lee. You and Dee. Such a cute couple you make. Even your names are sweet together. Lee and Dee, Lee and Dee ..."

"Her name is Anastasia you know," Lee said, a trifle testily.

"Is that what you call her? Somehow I just can't see it in the throes of passion. Too long. 'Oh, Anastasia, yes, please ... yes, Anastasia.. ' "

Lee looked at her angrily.

"What? Dee is short and sweet. It works. Or are you upset by my insinuation that you're vocal when you make love?"

"Not everyone is loud and obnoxious like you," he said bluntly. Sex had never been one of his favourite topics, even with the other guys, but talking about it with _her _was almost painful.

She laughed, unabashed as always. "Okay, I'll give you that one. Sam always says ..."

Lee held up a hand, a desperate look on his face. "I don't want to know. Really."

"Fine." Kara smiled. "So, are you going to marry her?"

Lee's jaw dropped. How had she ...? "Actually, I _was _thinking of asking her. How did you know?" he asked curiously.

"I may not be officially part of Galactica's crew anymore, but I'm still part of the grapevine. I've heard the rumours about the two of you."

"So what do rumours have to do with getting married?" he demanded.

She smirked. "I _know _you Lee. You're a tight-ass, pardon the expression. I _know _how much you hate for people to be talking about you that way. So, you're either going to end it, or marry her. Since you're still together, I'm assuming it's the latter."

Lee sighed inwardly. When the hell had she gotten this perceptive? Did she _really _know him _that _well? That was a scary thought.

"I'll send you an invitation to the wedding, assuming she says yes after seeing you here with me today," Lee said tersely.

Kara smiled. "Yes, she did seem rather shocked, didn't she? No worries though - I'm sure she'll say yes. Who could resist Lee Adama?" Kara stood, as if ready to leave.

_Gee, only _you _Kara, _he thought. _I made it easy for you - I flirted with you, made sure you knew I cared. Hell, I even told you I loved you, and yet when you had your chance, what did you do? Throw me off and tell me you wanted another man. _Thankfully Dee wasn't Kara. She'd likely believe there wasn't anything between him and Kara if he told her there wasn't. She didn't understand him well enough to know when he was lying.

"I should get going now - my raptor leaves shortly." She moved forward so her face was nearly touching his cheek. "Thank you," she said simply and kissed him lightly.

"Take care Kara," he said, willing himself not to get excited at her touch. _She's not yours, _he told himself. _Never has been, never will be._

"See you at the wedding," she said, smiling briefly at him before she walked out of his office and out of his life again.

Lee sighed heavily as he sank back into his chair. Kara had _such _a way of complicating his life.

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

The Ties That Bind - chapter 5

**oooooooooooooooo**

Lee sat staring at the piece of paper in front of him. It's all he'd been doing for more than an hour now, and he still wasn't any closer to a decision than he'd been when he'd started. Should he send it or shouldn't he?

A few days earlier he'd asked Dee to marry him and she'd enthusiastically said yes with no hesitation. Not that he was surprised - he'd known since day one that that had been her agenda. Not that she was the ladder-climbing type, well he didn't _think _so anyway, just the she'd been much more open and affectionate than he'd been, and she'd often talked about the future, without specifically mentioning marriage of course. But Lee wasn't stupid - he knew a long term commitment was what she wanted. He still didn't know if it was what _he _wanted, but it appeared this was likely the closest he was ever going to get to what he really wanted. The woman he'd secretly wanted for the past year was taken and apparently happy with her choice. She'd pretty much flaunted it in his face, all the while mocking his relationship with Dee.

Well, he'd made the move, now it was time to decide. The wedding was planned and the invitations sent - all but this one. In the end he decided to send it. She'd asked for it after all.

**ooooooooooooooooo**

"He's gonna do it. I can't believe it. The frakker's gonna do it!"

"Who? Do what?" Sam asked quizzically. He'd yet to see the paper Kara was holding up, but whatever was in it, it must be something good.

"Lee. He's actually going to marry Dualla." Kara answered incredulously.

Sam's brow furrowed. "Isn't he the one who came to see you when we came back?"

Kara nodded. "That's the one. I just can't believe it. The last time I was up there I teased him about it but I didn't actually think he'd go through with it."

"What? He's not the marrying sort? People would have said that about me once." Sam smiled.

"No," Kara shook her head, "it's not that, it's just that I was sure he didn't really feel that way about her." Her voice had gotten softer and a wistful tone had crept into it.

"Well, you've only seen him once in the past ... how many months? Five or six? Things change you know."

"I know," she said softly, "it's just that ... I always thought he was in love with someone else." _Me, you said you loved me, Lee._

"Well, I guess you were wrong," Sam said, smiling good naturedly, no idea of the turmoil going on within Kara.

_Yeah, I guess I was wrong, _she thought sadly. Though why, when she had the love of an amazing man like Sam, she should still feel the need to have Lee Adama in love with her, she'd never quite understand. Mind you, those four words were pretty much the hallmark of their entire relationship - she'd never quite understand. Things had been good and bad, up and down, fun and painful, and yet she'd never quite understood what made them work.

'So, are we going?" Sam asked, pulling the invitation out of her hand and scanning it.

"Of course we are," she snapped, a little nastily. At Sam's curious look , she apologized.

"I'm sorry. Lee is my oldest friend. I just couldn't imagine _not _being there. I would have wanted him at our wedding." Her voice dropped low. "If we'd had one."

"Better to avoid all that crap and get straight to the important part - the honeymoon." He picked her up suddenly and began walking towards the bed. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck to stop herself from falling. She shrieked with laughter as Sam threw her down and proceeded to repeat their 'honeymoon' as he'd called it.

**ooooooooooooooooooo**

"Please rise," the minister said, as the processional music began to play.

Kara stood up, still holding Sam's hand and looked towards the back of the room, watching the two people walk arm in arm towards them. Dee looked absolutely radiant. Her creamy off-white dress with sparkling faux diamonds perfectly set off her brown skin, and her green eyes glowed with joy. Her dark hair, normally brushed straight and tucked into the required ponytail was loose and curly. She looked a totally different woman.

Lee looked stunning in his dress uniform, as always. He had a body that the uniform designers must have had in mind when they'd created it, as he filled it perfectly in all the right places. He had the usual gorgeous Lee Adama smile on, but as he drew closer, Kara could see that smile didn't reach his eyes. In them she could see resignation, determination to go through with what he'd started, though it was bringing him no happiness. HIs eyes met hers for a moment, and in that second it was all bared for her to see - he loved her, not Dee.

Kara's insides churned as she stared at their backs throughout the service, barely even listening to any of the words. She pasted a smile on her face so as not to attract any attention. _He still loves me - gods, I can't believe he still loves me! _ she thought. _Oh Lee, you stupid frakwit, why didn't you fight harder for me? Didn't you know I loved you too? Didn't you know I wanted _you _to pursue _meNow it was too late. She was married to Sam, and in another few minutes, he'd be married to Dee. It wasn't that she was unhappy with Sam, it's just that it was the safe option, and Kara had always been one who'd enjoyed playing with fire. Playing with Lee had been fiery indeed, and she'd been reasonably sure he'd enjoyed it as much as she had, despite the stoic face he showed everyone else.

Well, it was done now and there was nothing she could do except congratulate them. As she and Sam stood in the line of well-wishers, waiting their turn, her stomach began to do flip-flops. What was she going to say to him? 'I'm glad you're happy' - that was about as obvious a lie as Lee saying 'I hope you find him' before she'd left on the rescue mission to Caprica. She knew he hadn't meant those words. Yes, he'd been frakking Dee already by then, but she was sure it was just a knee-jerk reaction to her telling him she wanted Samuel, not him. He'd obviously been very hurt by that encounter between them; their friendship had never been quite the same since.

"Dee, you look beautiful. And it was a lovely ceremony," she said sweetly, plastering a hopefully happy smile on her face as she hugged the smaller woman.

"Lee," she said softly, looking deep into those intense blue eyes and seeing the hidden sadness as well as the joy he was trying to project for everyone else.

"I'm glad you came," he murmured into her ear as they hugged.

"Wouldn't have missed it for anything," she answered softly. Suddenly she was aware of a hand tapping her on the shoulder.

"Ahem, let's go, there are others waiting for a turn to congratulate the happy couple." Sam winked at her and Kara blushed as she and Lee broke apart. She had no idea how long their embrace had gone on - she always felt like time stopped whenever they touched - but judging by Sam's actions, it had been a while. She stole a quick glance at Lee's face before walking away. It was as flushed as her own and the look of intense longing was painful as he watched her walk away.

The reception was fun, as all parties were, especially now, when there was so little left to celebrate. People seemed to savour the chance to let loose and have fun like they never had before. They laughed, they danced, they drank ... then they did it all over again. Kara was having a great time catching up with all her old friends whom truth be told, she missed a lot more than she'd ever let on. When they began to tell stories of flight escapades, she actually felt tears pricking in the backs of her eyes. Normally _she _would be the one telling the stories, or at least have been a part of them somehow. Now she was an outsider and she was finding she didn't really like that role very much.

"You wanna dance?" Her whole body shivered suddenly as Lee whispered in her ear. She turned to face him, only to find him pressed against her. She nodded, unable to formulate words.

"I guess you _do _get a chance to see me in a dress," she teased, as they reached the dance floor and locked into each other's arms as if they were made to be there.

"Lucky me," Lee smiled. "And you look just as beautiful now as you did that night." Kara blushed, not quite knowing what to say. She was highly unused to Lee complimenting her - that wasn't how their relationship worked.

"Thank you," she murmured, before dropping her head down onto his shoulder. He pulled her close, the hand around the small of her back nearly wrapping itself all the way around to the other side. They dance together for two full songs, Lee never making a move to let go of her. When the third one began, Kara began to feel uncomfortable. She pulled back to look at him.

"Don't you think I should let you dance with your wife?" she asked.

Lee nodded at another couple nearby. "I think she's occupied at the moment."

Kara followed his line of sight and there she saw petite little Dee dancing with Sam. It was quite the comical sight actually. The top of Kara's head barely came up to his shoulder, and Dee, who was several inches shorter than her, looked almost like a child dancing with him. He'd folded his six foot four frame over a little so as not to be too tall for her, but the effect was just plain funny.

Kara brought her gaze back to rest on Lee's now enigmatic face. "One more then." Their bodies locked together again and began to sway to the music. Lee turned his head in slightly to allow her shoulder-length loose hair to drift across his face. Kara felt his warm breath on her neck and it sent tingles through her body.

As the dance drew to a close, they pulled apart reluctantly. "I have to get going. Have a shuttle to catch," she said softly.

Lee leaned over and kissed her cheek lightly. "Take care."

Kara impulsively put a hand up and stroked his face gently for a second. "Have a nice life Lee." Then she was gone - disappeared into the throng of people filling the makeshift ballroom.

Lee sighed, knowing that 'nice' was about as good as his life was going to get from now on.

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

The Ties That Bind - chapter 6

**ooooooooooooooo**

Turns out he was right. Nice _was _as good as it got ... then it went downhill. It wasn't that she was a bad wife, or he was a bad husband, it's just that they weren't meant to be together. Lee finally came to that conclusion after their relationship had deteriorated beyond repair - about three months into the marriage.

He'd tried, goodness knows he'd tried, but his subconscious just kept sabotaging him. Every time he was on duty and he thought about spending time with his wife, a picture of Kara came unbidden into his mind. He didn't know _why, _after all he _knew _in his conscious mind that she'd had a choice and she'd picked Sam, and was apparently happy with that choice. What he'd thought ... hoped might happen between them was obviously never meant to be. The chance had come and gone and likely would never come again.

He'd had to bite his tongue on so many occasions when they made love, as he always closed his eyes and imagined her instead of Dee. It wasn't that Dee was a bad lover, or that he'd ever even experienced what Kara was like, but subconsciously he'd wanted her for so long that he couldn't help fusing imagination with reality, especially when it felt good.

"So uh ... how was your day?" Lee asked uncomfortably, on one of the rare occasions they were both off duty together at dinner time.

Dee cocked an amused eyebrow at him. "Much the same as yours I suppose, why?"

Lee shook his head. "Just asking."

They fell into an uncomfortable silence, and it was then that Lee realized just how mismatched they really were. All they had in common was sex. They never talked - she didn't enjoy talking about work, and he wasn't interested in talking ship's gossip. At least with Kara they'd always been able to talk about flying, or the other pilots - nuggets and their screw-ups were always a great source of amusement. He and Dee had nothing - too many topics were off limits because all they did was cause arguments.

"Well, I've uh ... got paperwork to finish," Lee said stiffly, getting up from the table and clearing up.

"Will I see you later?" she asked, the unspoken question in her eyes.

"I'll be back when I'm done," Lee answered, without really answering.

"I see," she sighed. She knew exactly where this was going. The same place it did almost every day - to her going to bed alone and him joining her much later once she was asleep. He seemed to be an expert at avoiding intimacy, and Dee was beginning to get a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that Lee was regretting their marriage.

"See you later," Lee said shortly, leaving their quarters without even touching her. He hadn't much lately. Touched her, that is, and she began to wonder why. Not much talk, less physical contact, late nights ... was there ... someone else? And she seriously began to wonder if, amongst the just over five hundred crew members, he'd found another woman he preferred. _He wouldn't do that though, would he? _she asked herself. _Lee really doesn't seem the type to do the 'affair' thing. _But all the same, she had to wonder, given how things had drastically changed between them.

**ooooooooooooooooooo**

Lee sat in his office trying to work. It wasn't that he had much to do, but he needed a place to be away from her. It was strange, but he felt both guilt and relief by hiding away here. He knew he should be trying harder to make it work but it seemed that his subconscious was imprinted with pictures of Kara. He saw her everywhere he went, in everything he did. Even now, filling out reports and evaluations reminded him of her. It was something they used to do together - he'd despised it, but like everything else they did together, she'd made it fun.

He berated himself for ever letting her go. She'd been his, in his arms on Colonial Day, and had made it pretty clear, even to him, that _he _was the one she'd dressed for. That could have been _the _night - the beginning of it all for them if he hadn't been so afraid of what everyone else would say. He'd had one more chance, small though it had been, after she'd come back from Caprica, but even after making the first move, he'd been afraid to stand up and back his words and actions once she'd challenged him on it. He could hardly bear to think of those times, realizing he'd let her slip away and that he'd never have a chance with her again. Considering his lack of manliness though, he really had to admit he did get what he deserved.

He smacked his pen back down on the table and stood up, planning to head back and spend some time with Dee. She deserved better than a husband who was never there for her - he'd vowed never do that, never be like his father, and yet here he was. He truly began to despise himself.

**oooooooooooooooooooo**

Dee heard him enter their quarters but she remained motionless, not wanting him to know she was still awake. He didn't take long getting ready, and soon he was crawling under the covers beside her. She stayed still for a couple of minutes, allowing him to relax, then crawled close to him and snuck her arms around his waist.

"I'm glad you're back early," she whispered, nibbling his neck seductively.

Lee sighed. "I'm not really ... " he began, but she silenced him by pressing her lips down on his. She crawled on top of him and began to play with all of the usual spots that aroused him. As far as she was concerned, this was a test. If he _was _having an affair, he'd turn her down. If he wasn't, well, then something else was wrong.

For a moment Lee didn't respond - after spending a few hours thinking about Kara, this was one of the last things he wanted to do, but then he put his best effort forward. He'd made a promise after all, and Lee Adama was one who kept promises, no matter what the cost.

Dee's heart soared and she threw herself into their lovemaking in a way she'd never done before. They may be having troubles getting along, but as long as there was no one else involved, it could be worked out.

Lee too was enjoying himself in a much more uninhibited fashion than usual, doing things he'd never done to her before, and allowing her to do things he'd always assumed she didn't want to do to him, as she'd never shown any initiative in that respect. She came twice herself before bringing him to the edge. He gripped her hips and pulled her down hard as his orgasm overtook him.

"Kara ... oh Kara!" he called out, then realized what he'd done as she suddenly stiffened and pulled off him.

Dee was fighting tears as she pulled the sheet off the bed and wrapped it around herself.

"Dee, please, I can explain ..." Lee said, pulling on his shorts.

She spun round to face him. "Now I see," she said in a choked voice. "I always felt there was something wrong, and lately I was beginning to suspect maybe there was someone else. Obviously I was right!" The tears spilled hotly down her cheeks.

"Dee, it was just a ..."

" ... slip of the tongue? Yeah, Dee to Kara, I can _really _see that," she said sarcastically. "I can't believe _you_ would ever cheat on me, but with someone you can't even _have? _How low is that? How do you think it makes me feel to know all this time you've probably been thinking about _her, _wishing I was _her, _and all the while pretending everything's okay with us?"

"Dee ... I don't know what to say," Lee said, flushing deeply. She'd hit the nail straight on the head and Lee couldn't possibly feel more ashamed.

"How 'bout the truth? Don't you think it's time for that?" she demanded, hands on her hips.

"I don't think you really want to know," Lee said quietly, fingers twisting nervously in his lap.

"Yeah? Try me," she challenged, fire covering the pain in her emerald green eyes.

Lee took a deep breath and looked at her steadily. "I've been in love with Kara Thrace since the day I met her. Don't ask me why, I have no idea why she appeals to me so, but she does. When we first met, she was engaged to my brother, so she was out of my reach. When we met next, it was at his funeral, which was hardly the best circumstance. Not to mention we had a big difference of opinion and I walked away, vowing never to speak to her again." Dee raised her eyebrows inquiringly but said nothing.

"Then I saw her here, the only familiar face besides my father, whom I was also furious with, as you may have gathered since we had a lot of trouble getting along those first few months. Kara was ... well, she was home. She was the only familiar thing here once life as we knew it ended, and I grew much closer to her than I should have. I fell in love with her all over again, but I was too spineless to stand up and tell her." Lee's voice held a bitterness she'd never heard before.

"So, now you're stuck loving someone you can't have because you were too scared to be honest."

Lee's face flamed. "Yes."

"So why did you marry me?"

"Because you were there." Dee recoiled as if he'd slapped her. "No, seriously, you were there, constantly pursuing me - showing me you were interested, and I did like you ... I mean, I do, it's just ..."

"You don't love me."

Lee felt his heart crumble. "I wanted to."

"Wanting isn't enough," she said tearfully.

"I see that now," Lee said, a touch roughly. "But I wanted so much to have a life of my own - to forget her. And you seemed like the perfect way to do that."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "It's nice to know you were just using me."

"I'm sorry Anastasia. I never meant to hurt you." Lee's words hurt though, and held no comfort whatsoever, but there was a look in his eyes that spoke more deeply to her. "I liked you a lot and I hoped that in marrying you that I would learn to love you ... like they did in the old days with arranged marriages - I know it's an outmoded custom, but it used to work. But somehow it just didn't work for me."

"_She's _got your heart," Dee said softly. "And she probably doesn't even know it."

"Probably not," Lee agreed.

"So what are you going to do now?"

"I don't know," Lee admitted honestly. "Maybe we can try to work things out?" he added hopefully.

"Well, you certainly have things that need working out, but not with me," she said coldly, slipping off her wedding ring and tossing it carelessly on the table.

"Dee," Lee began, but she turned on him fiercely.

"That's 'Lieutenant' to you Commander. Now if you'll kindly hand me my clothes ..."

Lee did as she asked and averted his eyes as she dressed, even though they _were _still married.

"I'll be back for the rest of my things in the morning."

"Dee, couldn't we please ..." he begged.

"No. You're free now. Free to love whomever you want without me getting in the way. Now there are no more ties to bind you."

**The End**

**A/N: **For those of you Lee/Dee shippers who've been reading this story, I'm sorry it didn't have a happy ending, but the plan was always to try to give one possible reason for why they were so frosty to each other in LDYB part 2. It's rather obvious on the show that there WAS something between them but now there isn't, so I was just pursuing that and seeing where it led me. Thanks to all who've been reading and especially to those who've been reviewing - it's always nice to hear what people are thinking about your writing, and I'd encourage more 'lurkers' to review, provide you don't have only negative criticism. Think of it as giving something back to the person who spent hours writing the story you've been enjoying.


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